cologne

Arrived in Cologne. It was hard not to notice the Catheral or DOM as they call them in this part of the world. It's huge. Nothing I have ever seen before matches it. I can only imagine the effect it would have had on people centuries ago. Once I get over the shock, I walked over to a bunch of gentlemen to ask about the direction to my hostel. They were standing at the foot of the Catheral steps. Within a couple of seconds I realised that I had in fact asked the local bums. Drinking the German equivalent of Super Tennants. It was dark !! But I was committed at that stage and carried on. One of them took hold of my guide book and ran up the steps. I thought that was the end of the book. But I needn't have worried as he was taking the book to a more illuminated area so he could see the name of the street.

In my adopted language of over-emphasised body language and ridiculous gesturing I managed to figure out what he was talking about. His significantly and many times broken nose being the only obstacle to my concentration. Found the hostel. Hit the beer. These Germans don't always float like butterflies but they try to be friendly. First, it was a proper knackers tavern but found a better place. Met one of my kindred spirits. Another sod working in banking. Markus from Dusseldorf. Interesting chats about interest rate policy, gross margins and teller queues. Just kidding. I got wrecked and went back to the hostel. Only after completing my usual detour to nowhere in an effort to save time and prove myself so clever in being able to understand the city layout in excellent time.

The next morning at breakfast I heard an Irish accent booming on one of the tables. Being a nosey swine, I eavesdropped. But I couldn't maintain my passive observation when he started referring to Dublin as the sh*thole of the earth. I'm sure many of you will agree but I don't. I took him to task (politely) and discovered him to be from Dundalk and answering to the name of 'Marshall'. Say what. Anyway being Irish I thought it polite to invite him for a beer after breakfast. A creeping thought entered my mind. This guy is bonkers. The penny finally dropped when one of those tourist trains passed where we were standing overlooking the Rhine. You know, cho cho, and electric train, no tracks. He was quite convinced that this train, whose route is along the river bank, had come from Italy and was destined for Denmark. No word of a lie!! He was harmless but I tried to say nicely to him that it would be best for him to head home. He's been in Cologne at the hostel for three weeks trying to find a job. Whether it was true that he had lost his bag is another matter but I bought him jeans. To which he responded 'Thanks a lot, sometimes I have worried that these ones smell of piss'. Nuff said, there go I but for the grace of good.