vienna
Another nice train journey through the Austrian countryside with plenty to gander at. The snow was heavy but the roads were perfectly clear. It amazes me that in England and Ireland, we are beside ourselves with consternation when the snow arrives. The trains are fucked, schools close, the world is ending !! I mean, whoever would have thought it....snow.....in winter.
My elder brothers mate looked after me very well in Vienna. I hadn't seen him in some eight years but I forgot about that time. Those Dutch fungi !! I remember cycling around with him in 1991 with snooker ball eyes. Those Dutch plants!! Anyway, Martin is from Holland but now works in Vienna. It was cool for me to be led around, from bar to bar. But it does make one lazy too. First stop after leaving off my gear was to go to one of Vienna's many beautiful cafes. The one I went to was once part of some blokes house. Oh how the rich live or in his case, lived. It had highly ornate decorations, very swish. A quick frankfurter and went off to see some sights. It was dark but one can still get a feeling of being overwhelmed by the architecture. Very imposing, very imperial. It's as if the Crown Prince said to the city designers 'Okay, I want a huge, colossal muthafucka of a city which will terrify those peasants and underscore who rules the roost! Anything less, I'll kill you all'. I reckon they survived. As is my custom, we went off to an Irish bar. At one point, I thought I saw Colin Farrell in this boozer. I was preparing what I would say in my head. Something like 'Don't think you fooled me with the hard man act, I know you're a big, middle class sap who probably still calls his aul one 'Mammy'. But it wasn't him.
After the previous nights boozing, I spent far too long in bed. Got to another Christmas Market in the evening and consumed more punch. The Vienna town hall is quite fantastic as it is very cleverly illuminated. Disney probably robbed the idea from here. More beer and then to a club later called 'Flex'. It was the dub club night. The Frames, from Dublin, were playing first but we missed them. Boo hoo! What's special about this nightclub is it's bass speakers. They are gigantic. But what really tickles me is the history of these two speakers. Designed in 1942 by the German military, they were intended to destroy buildings and structures by sound wave. Only the Germans would have conceived such an idea. Imagine the battlefield, say Stalingrad, and the commander says 'It's proving impossible to flush these Ivans out, we have no other choice, bring up the bass speakers, put some Bob Marley on'.
Anyway these speakers are mounted under the stage, left and right. With my level of excitment rising all the time, I could no longer restrain myself from what I wanted to do all night. Yes, that's right, climb inside the speaker. They're that big! Repeatedly I did this much to the puzzlement of the other clubbers. At one point, while getting out of the speaker, I grabbed a girls leg thinking it was a something to get hold of like a rail or something. Oh, what a knob. What's worse is she was photographing the event so she may have taken a picture of me for sexual assualt proceedings. They'll never catch me, I tell you!!
The two nights I was there flew by. It is a definite weekend destination for the future. A nice place to relax and chill. And Martin, if you get to read this, a big thank you for all you did. It made it truly great. Also, thanks for tolerating my endless drunken jibberish. Oh, that philosophy again on the necessities of life, the theory of five- air, water, food, human contact and shit, I forgot the last one. No matter.
My elder brothers mate looked after me very well in Vienna. I hadn't seen him in some eight years but I forgot about that time. Those Dutch fungi !! I remember cycling around with him in 1991 with snooker ball eyes. Those Dutch plants!! Anyway, Martin is from Holland but now works in Vienna. It was cool for me to be led around, from bar to bar. But it does make one lazy too. First stop after leaving off my gear was to go to one of Vienna's many beautiful cafes. The one I went to was once part of some blokes house. Oh how the rich live or in his case, lived. It had highly ornate decorations, very swish. A quick frankfurter and went off to see some sights. It was dark but one can still get a feeling of being overwhelmed by the architecture. Very imposing, very imperial. It's as if the Crown Prince said to the city designers 'Okay, I want a huge, colossal muthafucka of a city which will terrify those peasants and underscore who rules the roost! Anything less, I'll kill you all'. I reckon they survived. As is my custom, we went off to an Irish bar. At one point, I thought I saw Colin Farrell in this boozer. I was preparing what I would say in my head. Something like 'Don't think you fooled me with the hard man act, I know you're a big, middle class sap who probably still calls his aul one 'Mammy'. But it wasn't him.
After the previous nights boozing, I spent far too long in bed. Got to another Christmas Market in the evening and consumed more punch. The Vienna town hall is quite fantastic as it is very cleverly illuminated. Disney probably robbed the idea from here. More beer and then to a club later called 'Flex'. It was the dub club night. The Frames, from Dublin, were playing first but we missed them. Boo hoo! What's special about this nightclub is it's bass speakers. They are gigantic. But what really tickles me is the history of these two speakers. Designed in 1942 by the German military, they were intended to destroy buildings and structures by sound wave. Only the Germans would have conceived such an idea. Imagine the battlefield, say Stalingrad, and the commander says 'It's proving impossible to flush these Ivans out, we have no other choice, bring up the bass speakers, put some Bob Marley on'.
Anyway these speakers are mounted under the stage, left and right. With my level of excitment rising all the time, I could no longer restrain myself from what I wanted to do all night. Yes, that's right, climb inside the speaker. They're that big! Repeatedly I did this much to the puzzlement of the other clubbers. At one point, while getting out of the speaker, I grabbed a girls leg thinking it was a something to get hold of like a rail or something. Oh, what a knob. What's worse is she was photographing the event so she may have taken a picture of me for sexual assualt proceedings. They'll never catch me, I tell you!!
The two nights I was there flew by. It is a definite weekend destination for the future. A nice place to relax and chill. And Martin, if you get to read this, a big thank you for all you did. It made it truly great. Also, thanks for tolerating my endless drunken jibberish. Oh, that philosophy again on the necessities of life, the theory of five- air, water, food, human contact and shit, I forgot the last one. No matter.
posted by Ciarán at 7:18 p.m.
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