post script four

1. I have yet to wear my long johns. To me, that'll be a seminal moment in my life. The point where I start to desend. Where I finally submit to my age.

2. Travellers cheques are great but just try finding somewhere to cash them in Eastern Europe. On current form, it involves walking around for ages and popping in to numerous banks to ask whether they can cash them. Mostly they look at me in astonishment. Like a Red Indian on first seeing a locomotive ! And these are Banks, for Christ's sake.

3. I have learnt that some people just don't want to undertand me sometimes. I keep my English simple. Few words, well pronouced and accompained with visual aids ( tickets, words in their lingo). Then further back-up comes with contorted facial expressions to lend meaning and show polite intent. It ain't good enough for them. Ignorant c*nts!

warsaw (unexpected)

Asked for a wake up call or should that be wake up knock on the door. My super-duper watch, which has a billion wonderful functions, ain't functioning. not digitally. Only the analogue works so it's impossible to set the alarm. It needs solar energy and there isn't a lot around at the moment. Anyway, 6.30am and I'm off. Get to the station at 6.50am. Where's the 7.20am train? I can't see it on the departure board! I ask a rozzer, she scratches her head, goes to a timetable board, scratches her chin. Sorry, I don't know. F*ck, running out of time. I try my best to figure out the names of the destinations but none correspond with the limited information on my ticket. I'm getting frustrated. Yesterday, I did as I always do, book my ticket and reinforce where I want to go by having researched the timetable on OBB (Austrian National Railways - excellent website) and transcribe the times neatly onto a piece of paper. I present it and seek confirmation that piece of paper and ticket agree. She (the b*tch who sold me the ticket) said it did. I trot down to a platform hoping that a platform departure notice would assist. I ask some bloke, he scrabbles off to the timetable notice. So helpful. Nice Polish man. He thinks it left at 7am. What?

So, upstairs again, go to the International Reservations counter. Queue.I explain the situation. Queue. Go to Counter no.1, I'm getting rightly p*ssed off now. Queue. At counter no.1, I'm told go to International Reservations. The train has definitely gone. I know! What about that c*nt yesterday? Sorry. Next train - tomorrow. F*cking hell. These emotions were going on within me as outwardly I was calm. I really wanted to freak out and start demanding satisfaction et al but this is Poland, not London. There isn't a 'how to make a complaint' leaflet! Besides the lady behind the glass had a motherly demeanor and looked like she felt sorry for me. Lips all downward and sad. Poor me.

So, another night. Different hostel. It's called 'Oki Doki'. Maybe that's what I should have thought when I realised my plan had collapsed this morning. But now that the storm has quelled, I'm back on track, so to speak, philosophically. A cup of tea always helps, and a load of smokes too. I'm back dorming but it's a cool dorm and my bed is perched up near the ceiling. Not a bunk bed, just a weird bed. No sign of other occupants either. Wonderful.

warsaw

As is complusory in Eastern Europe with an interrail ticket, I booked a reservation. I got to my seat and some bald git was happily sitting in it. Just to be sure I asked a chap near me whether a word on the ticket did indeed mean 'seat'. It did. He was preparing to go and explain the situation to Mr Coot when I intervened. It's only 2 hours 40 mins, I meekly said. I can look out the window (it was dark for heavens sake) and I'll happily sit in the narrow gangway. Ejjit. I was tired and ended up sleeping doubled over with my head on my upright backpack. Ejjit twice. Next time I will dispense with the silly reserve.

I had paid for the first night at my hostel in Krakow. An associate company; just 35 zl (9 euro). I was told someone would meet me at the station, I arrived at 9pm. They didn't. I scurried off to find an internet cafe. Got my bearings. I asked a taxi guy outside for a price - 60 zl. I knew the distance could be no more than 4 km so I told him to stick his tender up his ar*e. I walked. Took ages, it was freezing and the hostel was closed. I was told it was a 'summer' hostel. Great. Luckily the bloke directed me to the other hostel bearing the same name. Got there at 11.15pm. I had a bottle of water inside a side pouch of my bag. It had turned into a slush puppy! I should have brought some blueberry concentrate.

Straight into bed and noticed the belting noise of traffic coming from the Road outside. I popped in some earplugs ( my usual defense against farters and snorers) and hoped the traffic noise would subside in the early hours. It didn't. The grand prix continued. I noticed some windows were open in the room, I assume, to counter the intense heat from the radiators. I figured it better to burn and sleep. So, I closed them and there followed a little game with some bloke in the room (it was an 8 bed dorm) of me closing the window, him opening it, me closing it, him opening it....

I got little sleep.

It was snowing heavily the following day. The first time since Belgrade that it had stuck to the ground. I like it like that. Mind you walking around in it for hours is a pain in the a*se. But hey, I came here to wander about. I must have walked 15 km that day. My nostril hair began to stiffen ! That amused me. The Varsovians (I think that's right) did a great job restoring their anicent old town. (The Germans gave it an almighty kicking during the war). It's beautiful again though, mien destroyers, take note! More so, in the snow. I came to Warsaw thinking this will be a quick in and out job. I figured it would be a communist type architectural nightmare. Some parts, yes but others, are very pleasant indeed. I abandoned my plan to see Gdansk. Besides I needed a transit visa for Kalingrad to get to Vilnuis from there.

After the goofing at the buildings, I ventured off to find the Jewish cemetary. It seems, to me, inconceivable that a community with a graveyard of 100,000 tombs just vanished. We all know why. It was quite serene in the snow. Then I took another marathon walk off to see the citadel. The damn thing is a military complex and I was quickly ushered away by a gun tooting boy soldier, me cursing him under my breath. F*cking lonely planet guide. So many damn errors, so many omissions. Probably written by a Yank! Getting back indoors I had a palpable sensation of the skin on my face expanding. Weird but nice!

The Irish bars here are very disappointing. Full of Spainards complaining about the cold constantly. It's f*cking winter, you d*ckheads! Did you check your calender when you booked the trip! Very tiresome. I thought I'd get back to the hostel and change rooms. No way could I put up with another night of motor racing outside and I had little appetite for more window games with some spooky silhouette. It could get nasty after all. So I upgraded away from the rabble at 9 euro a night to the elite at 20 euro a night. A room with a view, a balcony, a bog, a shower. Just wonderful. I wasn't going to be slowly killed by a radiator either. Bliss.

I was meant to leave for Lithuania yesterday but the trains were multi-stop, and I don't have transit visa's (really, what the f*ck are they all about anyway, do they want hard currency or what?, it's not like I want to live there) for Belarussia and the lure of my wonderful bedroom was too much. So, sorted out the ticket today. Rather than a 5 change journey over 22 hours, I have a 10 hour journey with one change. How much? 30 euro. Only sore point is getting out of bed at 6am. Besides that, I just plodded around today. Without any particular objective. Wandering. All day it has been drizzling. You can't see the top of high buildings. A low cloud of mist abounds. Not so much unpleasant, but like a shadow.

I'm happy though. Especially as for the first time this blog is up to date and I have another sweet engagement with my cosy room tonight. But first, some beers....